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Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Always a Mommy



What a comedic moment I had in a Starbuck’s line on my excursion to NYC today.  While my husband was busy ordering me my usual Grande CafĂ© Mocha I slipped away to the ladies room only to find a woman stationed right in front of the Ladies room door pensively waiting her turn.  I smiled at her and commented that this must be “the line” and I could tell by the look in her eyes.  Her response to me was meant to perhaps shock me but after all I am a mom of a couple of boys Oh... I mean men so not much knocks me over.  She responded with yes, this is the line but you really do not want to be the next one after me especially after the explosion that will take place.  I know she was expecting me to be horrified and run for cover.  I grinned from ear to ear and fished out a pack of matches that I just picked up at Carmine’s, my favorite Italian Restaurant on the Upper West Side.  
 I told her it was a gift for her to use after her bathroom event and a gift for me so that I may be able to use the facilities without noticing she was ever there.   She stood wide eyed and speechless as I gave her my Blessing to christen the throne we both had to share.  I smirked my way back to where my husband was standing  and unbeknownst to me he had witnessed the exchange and wanted me NOT to recant the story to him.   
I decided to make my way across the coffee shop to share my little story with my oldest son who was eagerly waiting to leave for his second interview appointment.  I was all set to share my comedy with him when all at once I caught a glimpse of him.  I instantly became overcome with how grown up he was in his perfectly fitted suit, grown up shoes and overcoat engrossed in his notes housed in his leather portfolio.  
All the years that led to this moment in time flooded my memory and I became in awe of the grown up poised on the Starbuck’s stool.   I choked back tears as I looked into his smiling crystal blue eyes.  Those eyes spoke so much to me over the years and today they held so much hope and promise. 
 I longed for and could almost feel the baby boy I brought home from the hospital 23 years ago.  I asked myself where the time went.  How did it pass so quickly and oh how I wish I could go back in time and cuddle my baby boy just for a few more minutes.  
I came back to reality to share my bathroom story  all the while squelching back tears that kept rising with each memory  I suppressed while smiling and cheering him on for his "Second Interview".
The time came to bid him good luck as we walked out of Starbucks onto 75th St.   He put his arm around me.   I gave him a big hug and watched him walk down the street.   I noted that a confident man was casting a shadow on 75th St. ready to make his mark not as my baby boy but as the man he has grown up to be.
All the while my husband was watching this all play out and reading my thoughts.   He grabbed my hand as we walked in the opposite direction.   Gentle tears rolled down my cheeks.  We did not have to speak words because we shared the same thoughts, emotions and the little boy forever etched in our hearts.